The Thin Line between Love and Hate
by AttackOfTheWhovianDucks
Summary: Clary is constantly trying to convince herself she hates Jace Wayland, but her words seem like lies even to her own ears. The simple fact of the matter is that she doesn't hate him and it's only a matter of time before both of them realise... that there's only a thin line between love and hate. Hardly any difference at all. Yet it makes all the difference.


**A/N: This is my alterante account; I am actually CherrySlushLover!**

**This was originally intended as a One Shot but I am contemplating continuing it.**

**Quick thank you to TheDauntlessNephilimTribute whose own love story inspired this, albeit unintentionally! Love you and your story! Thank you for all the ideas and inspiration as well; I feel truly honoured to work with you and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy your story! xxx**

**Disclaimer: I may not own Mortal Instruments or Jace, but I do own this plot. Luckily, I'm not totally unfortunate!**

"I hate you, Jace Wayland! And don't think I'm one of your stalker girls who says one thing and means the other, because I honestly mean every single word!" I fumed, resisting the urge to stomp my foot like a bad actress.

Blowing a tuft of my hair out of my face, I let out my breath, watching it fog up my mirror. It was one thing to pretend to hate Jace, another thing totally in reality. I knew that I should be angry at what he had done to Simon and Izzy's relationship especially after how many social issues they had gone through to be together, but despite his public show of disgust of their relationship, I couldn't find it within myself to disregard him.

Deciding that today wouldn't be the day I confronted him, I grabbed my bag and mobile, checking for any missed calls from Simon, who had taken it upon himself to make sure I came to school every morning. Strange. I was supposedly ringing Jace. Deciding it was just my ancient phone playing up, I ignored it, pulling my hair into two braids and running downstairs.

"Jon, has Simon come round yet?" I shouted at his retreating back.

He nodded and gestured vaguely towards the kitchen before ducking out the front door. I sighed and entered the current abode of Simon, opening my mouth immediately to complain about my lack of coffee when I really needed to be awake, but he was engaged in what seemed to be a really invigorating conversation.

Noticing my presence, he exclaimed, "Wait, the woman in question is here now. Let me just fill her in and ask her."

Disconnecting, he lounged in his seat, showcasing another one of his band t-shirts, this one sporting a vampire who strangely resembled Edward Cullen sucking the caption, "Vampires suck. Pun intended."

Rolling my eyes, I asked what had got him so riled up this early in the morning.

To which the reply was, "Jace."

Not the answer I had expected.

"He was in an assier mood than usual today and it just got Izzy worried. And apparently, it's got something to do with you. Obviously."

My earlier mood immediately dissipated as my concern for Jace grew. If Izzy was worried, it was serious and the assumption the distress had been caused by me made my guilt levels increase faster than dad's blood pressure when he found out I was considering leaving my self-defense classes for drawing. Jace very rarely displayed his emotions and his moods were usually found out from how horrible he was being... normally towards Simon.

I nodded hastily for Simon to continue with his story, biting the corners of my newly-polished nails, courtesy of Isabelle. Flipping my fingers away from my mouth, he said,

"She 'casually' suggested visiting you with those subtle hints she's always throwing, but he clearly didn't find it subtle, and said there was no point in visiting you when you couldn't stand him and hated him. Which is obviously stupid, since I have to constantly remind you to wipe the drool off the side of your mouth when you're around him."

"I don't drool, Simon! And when did I say I couldn't stand to be around him?" I allowed my mind to wander back to a couple of weeks ago to now but I didn't recall ever having said the words I had just been accused of. An angry Jace was an extremely bad thing though and I knew now that I needed to see him, to rectify whatever misconception he may have. Some may say this was a perfect time to fulfil my earlier words but I couldn't bring my heart into it and with a sinking feeling, I realised I could and would never be able to say I hated Jace.

"As much as I'm going to regret this, I think you need to clear the air with him. And by clear the air, I do not mean shove your tongue into his mouth," Simon smirked.

"Eww, only you could make kissing sound so disgusting. And I do know exactly what you meant, don't worry," I sighed.

"Kissing always sounds disgusting in theory. But when you actually do it... it's a lot better," he said, standing up and pulling me up alongside him.

I groaned and took his offered hand, immediately ringing Jace with the other one. There was no answer but it wasn't like I had expected anything else. Resigning myself to agree to see him at school, I followed Simon out, pulling my hood over my hair. Not only did Jace not like me, but apparently neither did the weather. Already, the clouds had ominously rolled in, bringing with them the promise of impending doom and destruction. And I wasn't exaggerating in the slightest, especially when I saw the sight that greeted me in school.

Not only was I soaked from the rain that hadn't held back and waited until I was inside, but now I had to face Izzy's wrath for making her day hell.

"He's at home, Clary. He's missing a football match, sulking, because you hate him. What and why did you say that? I know you felt guilty about the grief Simon and I got at school because of him, but just because you feel guilty, it doesn't mean you had to lash out like that. Are you really that obsessed with hurting him?" She blew out a heated breath once she'd finished, her hand falling off of her hip, but still looking as elegant and badass as ever.

Simon had been right; Isabelle hardly ranted about anything, but when it was about someone she cared about, she really made a person feel guilty. I was ashamed of myself for not being over at their house now. Wait...

"What exactly am I supposed to do once I get to your house? Convince him I don't hate him and tell him to come back to the game?" I questioned curiously.

"Just make him happy again, Clary," she whispered and twirled around, her hair flying perfectly behind her. "And you're already excused from school for the rest of the day. You're ill. Get out of here before someone sees you're not."

I hightailed out of school, not even bothering to put my hood up this time. There really seemed to be no point since all I was doing today was running around. It was times like this that I really wished I had a car or at least the keys to Jon's so I could attempt to drive. The cold wrapped around me like a snow blanket and I huddled closer into it, using it as protection against my thoughts.

Despite Izzy's earlier words that I shouldn't have felt guilty about her and Simon, the constant prick of my betrayal pained me, even if they didn't feel the need to punish me. When they had needed me to take their side and convince Jace to leave them alone, I hadn't said a word, leaving them to their own devices and accepting that Jace would change his mind when he realised just how happy Izzy was with Simon.

I had been right of course: Jace had backed off once he realised his adoptive sister's happiness was at stake but that wasn't the issue. I was supposed to have been there for Izzy and Simon, and I hadn't been. Not fully.

It was in that state of mind that I knocked on their front door, lost in my own thoughts and dripping like a drowned rat.

The door was pulled with such force that I feared for its life, the culprit for its near death standing just behind, his tawny eyes glowing with murderous thoughts. Jace's eyes softened slightly as they saw me but the usual walls were back up less than a heartbeat later and I quickly stepped in to the confines of his home, afraid that the door would unceremoniously shut on me.

"What do you want," he asked coldly, no threat of emotion spilling through his lifeless tone. Straightaway, I understood where Isabelle's concern had arisen from...Jace may be sarcastic and closed off, but there was always emotion in his voice, whether it was derision or humour. His current demeanour scared me more than I had thought was possible.

I reached for him, but he pulled away from my grasp. I brushed away the small twinge of hurt I felt at his obvious revulsion that I had never sensed before and instead said the words I had been meaning to say for a long time.

Not the lies.

"I'm sorry, Jace."

His head snapped up. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I breathed in deeply and looked at my squelching shoes, knowing for certain I needed courage to say the next part and I wouldn't get that from looking at the eyes that unwound my every thought, "I'm sorry that I can't hate you when I've been trying to do that for the last four years, and I'm sorry I lied when I said I thought you were the last guy on earth I would ever like, and I'm sorry for not instilling that much trust in you that you would believe what some half-minded ass said about me not wanting to spend time with you."

"Well then, you must be a half-minded ass because you clearly said you hated me," he replied, holding up his cellphone.

I gasped as every single word I had said to myself in the mirror that morning replayed on his phone voice messages, and the vivid memory of seeing my phone ringing Jace came back to me. How had I been so stupid? Of course he would get the wrong end of the stick if he had heard all that!

"But I- you weren't supposed to hear that!"I finally exclaimed.

He arched an eyebrow, folding his arms casually yet still managing to look unconcerned at the same time. "So you hate me, but you were just acting like you didn't, " he replied.

"No! If I didn't care, would I honestly walk just under two miles to come and see you-to make things right with you? Would I defend you in front of everyone who ever put you down, saying you have no substance besides women and football? God, Jace, why can't you see what's right in front of you? I do care about you!" My breathing was hitched, a result of having finally seen why it was so hard for me to say I hated Jace. No matter how many times I said it, no matter how many times I tried to convince myself of it, I didn't hate him.

He took a step closer to me, the difference between our heights finally becoming more evident as his body stood just over an inch away from mine. I could feel heat radiating off him and I nearly leaned in, wanting to be closer to him, obviously to get out of this horrible cold. This close up, his eyes swirled with various shades of that unique gold, his pupils enlarging and nearly swallowing the irises whole. I gulped unintentionally and watched as he mirrored me, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

"I care too, Clary. A lot more than I should. But every time I allow myself to feel, I get hurt. So what's the point?" He whispered, and in that moment I saw just how vulnerable Jace was under his tough exterior.

"This is the point."

I wrapped my arms around him, winding them up until I could braid my fingers in his hair. His lips were merely a breath away, I noticed, but I planted mine firmly on his cheek, before placing my palm there. Our hearts thudded unevenly against each other and I wondered why he looked so confused but I pulled away regardless, laughing uneasily.

"So are we friends again?" I smiled at him.

"Friends. Of course." He had turned away from me, his voice oddly different than it had been a moment ago. And that's when I realised that it had gone back to being as emotionless as it had been earlier.

**THIS WILL BE CONTINUED FROM MY OTHER ACCOUNT, MY NAME IS CHERRYSLUSHLOVER**

**My profile URL is on this profile page! Thank you for taking the time to read and I apologise for any inconvenience!**

**xxx**


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